Freaks Corner

All good things..

2006-06-19T12:55:00.000-07:00

Members, Freaks Club Blogspot,cBlog-o-Sphere, Not-so-Respected Members, With much regret this is to inform you that freakscorner.blogspot has expired after having fought a brave battle against all odds . Although having departed to it's (not so) heavenly abode it hasn't forgotten those that loved it so it has left a path to reach it for those who have the power and the will and determination to pursue it into the "other" world. You can reach it at www.freakscorner.wordpress.com
God bless all freaks

Your's Freakily,

A stranger..

So There !

2006-05-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

here is a day in the life of the most compulsive, compassionatte and original freak in the whole of blog-o-sphere . Went shopping for summer kurtas for son ... now don't think I went to any designer stores . Driver told me about a place in Pindi called Haathi Bazaar (Elephant Market) (hehehehe) that sold cheap one's . Bought him two . Felt immensely dissatisfied with the spending and thought of going into a clothes shop in Sadar . Liked some stuff, asked the shopkeeper it's price and bought 5 pairs of clothes that came to Rs. 6500 just 'cause the shopkeeper seemed to sneer at me and say oh-it's-too-expensive-for-you. Does this remind you of that episode of Friends where Monica buys a pair of boots for exactly the same reason ? That was enough for my pukhtun blood to start boiling and centuries of women shoppers screaming for revenge . UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ... I mean i ended up spending all of my pay in one go (went to a kids clothes shop next door) .

I have to admit though that I haven't had so much fun in some time . Coming back home with a dozen shopping bags in my hand is an exhilarating exdperience which most of you would agree with me on . Being the generous soul that I am , I have saved up 4 of the 5 suits to give to my sisters . This way I don't feel so guilty ... hehehehe .

It's Mother's Day today and I am at my cousin's again . Her kids are taking her out for Hi-Tea and I have invited myself along claiming to be the kids' godmother . God I love these angrezaan . So many excuses for going-out and giving gifts ... :D

Ciao my dahlin's. Gotta go "do" my hair ... xxx

COOOOOLLllll

2006-05-09T17:55:00.000-07:00

People, first things first ... I AM ALIVEEEEEEEEE ... yoooohoooooo ... :) SO is Blogspot ... YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOoooooooooooooo .... :) Am extremely busy so those of you who have been loyal and checking my blog for eye-opening scoops sorry to disappoint you ... am busy and at a cousin's place. Will post in detail later . Am dying to read what you have all been writing, doing etc etc .

2006-03-29T00:01:00.000-08:00

I am so BORED ... also I can't think of much to blog about . This is weird ... the latter part I mean . I am a chatahloic . I can talk for ages without really saying much . I try not to read anyone's posts no more also 'cause it's frustrating when I can comment . For example, zak has written a post about the different heads of state/govt. we have had and has conveninetly left out Benazir Bhutto . Chauvinist ... grrrrr .

Rai has closed down his blog . Probably Q or a publicity stunt . *eyebrows raised*

So much Aya writes I can relate to but can't comment .... :((

Blah blah . :p

A Note To All

2006-03-25T21:00:00.000-08:00

These are only 3 of the 75 stories the children wrote about Corporal Punishment . The ideas they came up with were morbid and very, very disturbing . It horrified me to see how they look at CP and how they feel about it . Sit back, keep the lights on and also someone close by ... do not, I repaet, DO NOT READ WHIL ALONE + it's X- Rated stuff for extreme violence . *Shudders*

Moral of the Story : Never hit a child . Yikesssssssss .

Randomly Random Randomness

2006-03-24T10:06:00.000-08:00

Uhhhhhhhhh ... d-uh . Spring Gala is tomorrow . Don't think it's going to be a success ... guys guys you know I am a very positive person but let's face reality okey ... because weather is not right . Gonna rain tomorrow for sure . Hopefully not but if hopes were horses beggars would ride .... (?!?!?!?!)

The most pathetic movie award goes to ................. LOSER ! Yep have you guys seen it ? It's so cheesy and the script is horrible . What a waste of my time ... could ahve checked all my creative writing notebooks . Humph .

Hubbie is being extra nice . Spent all day yesterday and today with me . I mean even I can't spend so much time with myself . I can be pretty annoying ... khe khe khe . Has any of you tried the new Walls Almond Magnum ? It's awesome . Can't get enough of it .

My students think I look like a Barbie ... YIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

My best friend who got divorced a year after she got married is getting married again ... I mean she will . My other best friends' mom is gonna ask for her for her son . Isn't that great ? She deserves all the best and I am soooooooo happy for her . Past 3 years have been really hard for her and now Allah is finally gonna reward her for her patience . I love you Allah . Mwah mwah .

Supposed to send son in white shalwar kameez tomorrow to school but the stupid people sent a notice for it today . How the heck am i supposed to get his the clotes on such a short notice ? Will have to ring up his teacher tomorrow . This is ridiculous .

Okey byeeeeeeeeee . :D :p

Some Jokes + A Question

2006-03-17T22:37:00.000-08:00

Joke No. 1 :

What is the similarity between a sikh and a sperm ?
One in a million mature .

Joke No. 2 :

Power failure in India for 2 days. Worst hit was Assam . All Sikhs were stuck on escalators for 48 hours ....... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Joke No. 3 :

SADHU : Hey Bhagwan tu mujhe Dard de, Dukh de, Sare sansar ka Ghum de, Kasht de, Takleef de.

CHELA : Baba itni sari demand kioon karte ho. Aik BIWI maang lo baqi sub khud bakhud mil jaye ga . LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Question :

Why do I get Google in Hindi ???

Latest From Peshawar

2006-03-12T18:36:00.000-08:00

In Laws crossed their limit ... MIL says my son can't speak till now and is probably gonna stay mute because of me ... because I have a depressive disorder . First of all my son is only 2+ and gonna turn 3 in June (Insha Allah)and I checked on the net and talked to people on parental support groups and they all assured me it was pretty common specially amongst boys to start talking after the age of 3 and secondly I had postnatal depression that got worse due to lack of support and care at home ... meaning because of THEM ! But imagine how it would feel to a mother to be told that she is responsible for anything bad that might happen to her child . How difficult it is to accept your child is not normal . At first I was shocked and hurt beyong words at what she said but when sanity returned I thought what the heck ... she is just a jahil woman sitting at home with nothing better to do then make stupid stories in her head . If I start worrying over what she says then what's the point of my education . That thought helped quite a bit . Thank God I am out of there . Hubbie went crazy as usual once we reached there . Ughhhhh ... I could whine forever but now I am gonna stop feeling sorry for myself and thank Allah I am healthy, my son is well, I ahve a place to live in if not call home and Allah has been so kind in every way to me and He is there for me whenever I need Him . What more can a person ask for ? :D

On another note, just to remind you people, I am still unable to comment on any blog or read any without using an anonymizer and it takes ages for a page to open that way so I am sorry people ... will make it up to everyone ... and it does not mean I am not missing out on a lot and very AWARE of it . :((

We are celebrating Spring Festival in school . Will wear a sari . I love saris though I like shalwar kameez equally .

Ummmmm .... until next time ... this is moi ... SaneFreak or BeautifulStranger .... signing out ... take care everyone .... :p

School News

2006-03-09T10:25:00.000-08:00

I am not the kind of person who umps to conclusions about people ... even if I do I think I may be guilty of thinking too well of everyone and not the other way around . I have this colleague and from the very beginning I have found her slighgtly repulsive . That's probably because she is married and has a number of boyfriends and does nothing but talk to them all day long and uses really dirty language in school . Now that may be none of my concern but a few days back she said something that confirmed my suspicions/opinion of her . I was sitting with my son at pack-up and she comes and says "every time I see your son I want to rape him" . Now doesn't that send a shiver down you peoples spines ? I was disgusted . Even if it was a joke you can imagine how her brain works . Correct me if I am wrong but isn't that SICK ?!

Another piece of news is that the thief has finally been caught ! What thief ?? Okey, lemme tell you about that . The past couple of months teachers had been losing money out of their wallets/bags . We thought it might be the maids but they have been with the school for a long time and had a clean record, then it even came to the point when everyone started thinking it might be one of the teachers . I mean who else could walk into the staffroom and take money out of a teacher's bag ?? Finally a couple of days back the teachers became suspicious of a student . They laid a trap . Marked a note, put it in the wallet and left the purse behind during their games class . After the period was over tecaher checked and the note was gone . She checked the girl's bag and found it . It was shocking . I have been asking the teachers not to share it with the kids or make gossip out of it because the girl must have some serious psychological problem that should be dealt with .

Phew ... even working in a school is making me "grow up" a lot . Who would have thought such things actually happenned .

What The *********

2006-03-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

In Pakistan they have stopped netusers from accessing any blogs on blogspot 'cause of the cartoon controversy . What the heck ! Chalo, atleast I can post to my blog
(or is it post ON my blog ?!?!) Whatever ! Leaving this post specially for you ZAB . You may add me to your MSN by all means .

I am busy preparing for a small presentation about Spring Festivals . I HATE doing all this presentations business ... I am no good at it . I am getting lots of help though .

Isloo is no fun any more . For me the most fun part of going out is the food but 'cause of the bird flu and the mad cow diseaese and fear of something happening to the goats and fish there is nothing one can really eat outside . Chhalis (corn) are a good option but I didn't see any today . Are they out of season ???

My uncle's farm house looks awesome ... all the flowers have come out and the trees are blossoming, the grass looks soooo fresh and green ... you could "smell" spring . I am so happy I was born in Spring . Must be so depressing to be born in any other season ... no offense meant . Just wondering out loud ... :D

My Lowest Lows

2006-03-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

I am totally freaking out . I know it's no news for those of you who "know" me but seriously I am . I am having dreams again ... strong ones . And also having that deja vu thingie ... like bad things happening and me having known it in a dream but then not giving the dream any importance and then after ages when that very thing happens realizing that the dream was true . It's not a good feeling . Leaves me with a horrible headache everytime and leaves me totally exhausted . To most of you it doesn't make sense ... some of you might even think it has something to do with my depressive disorder but ........................................

2006-02-17T09:17:00.000-08:00

I feel like I am not a part of the family any more . My uncle died a few days back and noone told me . They didn't even call . Gave me some pathetic excuse about the strike and how I couldn't have made it . My other uncle lives here in Islamabad ... he and my cousins went . I could have gone with them . But of course not ... why would I wanna go . After all I am the only one married outside the family and now these people own me . I can't even attend my uncle's funeral . They never take me, invite me to the weddings and now even the deaths ? I am afraid if my parents die they won't tell me because why should I bother ? I hate them all .

Plus, phoned hubbie thinking it would be a good idea if he was around at such a time considering my history of depression and all but he had to take a friend out to dinner who had come from England the day before .

My faith was reaffirmed ... there is nothing like a good friend . Again when family disappoints me and leaves me alone it's a friend who steps forward, probably drops everything he has to do and spends hours talking to this pathetic excuse for a freak. Families SUCK and friends ROCK ... :(

Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T22:37:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day ... :D

Mughlai Pathans ... and ... Damn I Missed It

2006-02-13T18:44:00.000-08:00

Heard the funniest thing the other day . A colleague in school claimed to be a Mughlai pathan from the race of Mehmood Ghaznavi ... LOLOLOLOLOL ... ROFL . I was like errr ... all mughals came from the Middle East ... plus Ghaznavi as in Ghazni as in that province in Afghanistan ... see the connection ? But of course she didn't . So many punjabis I meet tell me they are Kakazai pathans and I am liek if you are pathans then how are you punjabis as well ??? Oh puhlease freaks out there ... you know I am not i am not this punjabi vs. pathan vs. sindhi blah blah . I am just trying to tell you how people can be so silly and weird in some ways too . Then also notice how more than half of Pakistani population is either a syed or a Mian ... I mean we have more arabs in our country then Arab itself ... lol .

Oh yeah ... did I tell you guys what son did ? had been waiting for his nose to dry up as usual but before I could have myself a treat he came to me while I was checking my copies in complete ecstasy holding up his finger ... and what do I see .... ? Yes dahlin's yes ... it was a big huge juicy yummy somewhat greenish somewhat blackish BOOGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ... I am so proud of him . He has taken after me in so mnay ways . Only regret is I didn't get my hand on "it" first . Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha . Go puke now everybody .... :D

I feel Like S***

2006-02-12T20:26:00.000-08:00

yep I do ... that's the effect a trip to inlaws always has on me . Every time I go I tell myself I won't let anything anyone says to me trouble me or bring me down but then I fail soooo miserably . There is a limit to what a person can hear against one's self and ignore . Was happy for the weekend ... looking forward to it all "week" ... hoping to sleep and EAT proper food instead of the usual . How stupid of me . Sis-in-law's 4 kids were there that I adore and get alonmg with very well but this time they drove me nuts . I had a room upstairs but I shifted down after my father-in-law gave a room upstairs to them . Now the scenario is that they stay up till quarter past midnight every night watching tv and screaming and shouting and everything that kids their age do (eldest is 14, youngest are (twins) 8) . So there was no sleep for me or son . Then last night mother-in-law and her decide to talk loud enough for their voices to reach me and bitch about me . Ufffffffffffffffff ... I know I am not perfect ... far from it ... but then I have good points oo like all normal people . I have made some mistakes but then a few mistakes can wipe out all the good things that you do ???

I can go on for ever but don't want to . All I know is that if it weren't for my son or maybe my medication I would be long gone ... I am sick of fighting ... fighting for the most ridiculous things . I want a normal life . Hubbie says I am stupid, dumb, silly, mean etc . He says I don't make mistakes I do things deliberately because then otherwise how can I do things so well in school . I thought about that ... the reason is maybe that those people are just colleagues and don't expect anything from me (atleast not yet) ... they are not so quick to judge what kind of person I am . I have shades of grey ... lots and lots of grey ... but then on the brighter side ... it's black mixed with WHITE that gives you grey, isn't it ? Not making any sense ? I know ... I just confused myself as well . Hubbie also says my mother also talks behind my back ... I was like HELLOOOOOOO ... ?!?! She says nothing "behind my back" that she can't say to my face ... plus she is my MOTHER ! I am going nuts .

Weddings Season

2006-02-12T13:09:00.000-08:00

Every year between December and March it's the wedding season in Pakistan . Summers are too hot to have any weddings in . I don't like going to weddings ... the music is always too loud, the halls are crowded and the stampede at dinner time is the icing on the cake . But sometimes it's hard to avoid . Recently I been to one engagement and one dholki (a dholki is a small party at either the girl's or the boy's house in which the girls and boys "choreograph" dances for the main event) . The former I had to attend 'cause my inlaws had just come back from hajj and mom-in-law was too sick to go so I had to represent her . Usually weddings are segragated functions here but this was a mixed gathering . Gosh, the clothes some of the girls were wearing made me wanna look up and down and anywhere except at them . Same goes for the latter ... this was my best friend's pre-wedding party . Lots of fun till they started playing the music ... don't know why it has to be so ear-shattering loud . She told me to be there by 7pm, I arrived at 8 thinking I was fashionably late BUT .... of course not . People started coming at around 9pm and by the time I was ready to leave at 10pm they were still arriving . My wedding now had a very fauji style timing ... everything happenned on time . It was kinda sad to think she would be getting married and leaving her house and getting herself into all this marri8age s*** . Hope things are fairy-tale petrfect for her ... Amen . She will be going to live in America somewhere near Boston . I'll miss her soooo much ... :((

Que Sera Sera asked me to write about Islamabad . There is nothing much to write about it yara except that new boutiques are springing up everywhere and reminding me how poor I am ... boo hoo ... not to forget how FAT and CONSERVATIVE I am . The clothes are becoming shorter, sheerer and expensive-r . The coolest place to hang-out these days would be that shopping place in Jinnah Super near Afghan Bakers ... someone help me with the name here ?? Mondrian is a fun place and so is One Potato Two Potato ... but my fav. is Espresso Lounge . It's really kewl . everywhere you go you will see people selling red, heart-shaped balloons (Valentine's day remember ?), huge teddy bears are displayed in all shop windows that make me loathe myself for never having a rich-boyfriend or a sensitive, lovey-dovey hubbie (plus RICH) ... hehehehe . That's all for now folks ...... :D

I hate Maggie noodles

2006-02-08T21:09:00.000-08:00

I swear i do . Past couple of weeks or maybe even more ... seems like a gazillion weeks to me ... I have been eating nothing but these plus eggs in every possible style, fried, scrambled, boiled, omelette, french toasts ... you name it . I have yet to get my servant back . I am gonna make cauliflower again today for hubbie . I hate it myself and would never as much as taste it . I don'tlike food cooked by anyone other than my mother . Well my mother doesn't really cook herself but she has trained her cook well and he makes everything according to our (my) taste . That means almost everything is fried up and all vegetable is cooked and mashed till you can't tell what you are eating ... :D hehehe . Oh yeah gonna try adding chicken cube to the cauliflower as suggested by drpak last time . Let's see what happens .

Went to Gelatto Affair with my nieces and nephews ... infact they went with me . Had a Peach Melba and a cold coffee ... yummmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy . My cousin says I and my son can go with her to U.S. of A. in summers . I am trying not to get my hopes up too high 'cause chances are I won't get a visa but still that would be AWESOME ! One of my friends tried for a visa and everything went well but in the end the guy says you are too beautiful ... I can't give you a visa ... also what guarantee can you give me you won't get involved in terrorist activities there . She had her 5 years old son with her and was like ... do I look like I am a terrorist ? I told her you should have told him ... you are having terrorist attacks 'cause of this reason ... you are giving visas to the wrong people and denying it to the right one's ... so much for your intelligence agencies . Anyways, it's a long shot . I don't even have a passport or even a marriage certificate ... :D

So wish me luck people ... I need a li'l bit oif it in my life . Ughhhh ... everytime I promise myself I would never say THAT ... I say IT . Allah is so merciful to me yet I go on whining . AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ...........

This & That

2006-02-07T22:37:00.000-08:00

Here are a few lines I would like to dedicate to the youth of our nation :

Rise like lions after slumber
In unvanquishable number;
Shake your chains to earth like dew
Which in sleep had fallen on you -
Ye are many, they are few .
The Mask of Anarchy by Shelley (again)

The topic in staffroom was "If America invades Iran it will use Pakistani Military bases . If Pakistan doesn't allow them will America not invade us" . Pretty long topic huh ? Hehe . I kept listening to their stupid debate and finally couldn't take it any longer because I was checking a drama notebook in which the kid had come up with his own names for all the characters of Twelfth Night : Marvolio, Voila, Oilivia, Orisino, Untino .... AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH and this too after 2 weeks of teaching them and writing all spellings on the board . So anyway I just looked up from my checking and asked them : What do you think American Army helicopters are doing buzzing over our heads ... what are American soldiers doing running operations in our tribal areas without the knowledge of our government ? Damn man, people can be so dumb ... or I think they would rather be dumb then accept the truth ... we are just an American colony . Every time in the past when martial laws have been thrown over in Pakistan it's always been the youth, the college and university students who have come out onto the streets and asked for their rights . What's wrong now ? Why have we become so passive ? Why are we accepting everything so blindly ? The other day in an interview PM (for those of you who don't know what the abbreviation stands for it's Pervez Musharraf) was asked that in almost all Islamic states there was no democratic government . Could that be the reason why they had such a slow development rate ? And he says but Pakistan has a democracy, I might be in uniform but I have brough on the essence of democracy which was missing earlier . UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ... I don't wanna go on any more .

Yes, yes people I DO know a bit about politics . Duh . Now coming to more interesting things ... watched the Mask of Zorro again the other day . Ahhhhhhhhhhhh .... I LOVE ANTONIO BANDERAS . Melanie Griffith is soooo ugly . How the heck did she "get" him ???

School is fun . I hate missing even a single day . I have to give a treat for my first pay ... all teachers have to . Wondering what to take ... I don't know how to cook ... or atleast anything other than my hubbie would eat . Any suggestions people ? remember I ahve to keep up my cool gal image . I may be too poor even to afford an internet card but people must think I come from some nawab's family . :D:D

Son has started saying 1,2,3,4 and ABCD ... although he laughs his head off every time I ask him to say D ... don't get it why ? Try saying it slow and with the proper phonetics . Also noone can understand his 1 and 4 ... he says Aaannn and foeeee . Awwwww ... this is soooo cute, he just agve me a kiss ...

What's the plan for Valentines Day people ? Of course hubbie is not takeing me anywhere . last time I gave him 3 cards ... one for each year we had been together ... he read them, put them in the drawer ... went to Lahore the next day to his sweetheart and forgot them there . isn't that great ? hehehehehehe .

I and a few colleagues are planning to go to Marriott ... and no I am not telling you when ... too clever to do that ... :D Anyway, yeah so we are going for lunch soon . I can't decide what I should wear . Damn !

I WANT AN iPOD ... BOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... :(((

Was teaching about onomatopeia today ... students couldn't stop giggling over the name . Asked them for a song that uses Repetition (for chorus) and the examples they came up with embarrassed MEEEE .... here are some of them ... AAP KI KASHISH, AASHIQUE BANAYA, JADU HAI NASHA HAI ......... YIKES ! i suggested we stick to Dil Dil Pakistan . Kids in school think I can't speak urdu because u8s teachers are not supposed to speak it infront of kids (colonial hangover) ... so they also think I am a Christian . There is one child in my class who is a Christian ... some of the things the kids say to him or about him in class are horrid . The other day I was mad at him because I kept telling everyone to take out their books but he kept on looking outside the window . So I say to him "Aren't you either a boy or a girl that's why you aren't taking out your book?" ("Boys and girls take out your books" hehe) . Another child says , "No ma'am he isn't a boy or a girl. He is a Christian". I was soooo mad . I made him apologize to him . These are things these kids learn at home . It's horrid .

Okey ta ta .

HERESSSSSSSSSSSS BEAU

2006-02-05T08:16:00.000-08:00

*Applause, Applause* *Bow* *Waving Hand* ... ahemmmmm ... okey awright . Ah guys a long time I have been away from here . Been missing you freaks .

Before I start off my on my freakiness I have to apologize to you reza/anzarius . I didn't mean to offend you ... of course you are a pal ... only thing is I and zaksie just go a long way back ... soweeeeeeee anyway ... :D

Now coming to my favourite topic ... hubbie bashing ... :D He has found a new way of torturing me ... through my son . Last night (ahem get ready for this) I burnt baby's milk bottles ... actually I melted them . Left them to boil and forgot to take them out ... with the result there was nothing but completely melted plastic left of it . I phoned hubbie and asked him to get new one's ... he came back at half past midnight without them . Asked him to go get them but he refused ... so poor baby had to go to sleep without his milk . I almost had an episode but God took mercy . Hmmmm .... end of topic ... let's leave it here .

Am at my cousin's . She has good reason to think I am a nerd . :p haven't been blogging 'cause had no money to get credit for net . girls here is an advice for you all ... never marry a government servant !

Got my first pay ... yippppeeee ! Am borrowing earrings from my nieces ... have to keep up the impression on the little girls . hehehehehe .

Heard a joke ... here it is ...
2 men die . An angel comes to decide whether to send them to heaven or hell . He asks the first one his name ... he answers Akhlaas . Angel asks him to recite sura-e-akhlaas . He does so and is sent to heaven . Asks the second man his name . His name happens to be Yaseen ... he replies ... my name is Yaseen but my nickname is Kausar .

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

A Little Bit Of Shelley ...

2006-01-25T18:41:00.000-08:00

TO -------

One word is too often profaned
For me to profane it,
One feeling too falsely disdained
For thee to disdain it.
One hope is too like despair
For prudence to smother,
And pity from thee more dear
Than that from another.

I can give not what men call love,
But wilt thou accept not
The worship the heart lifts above
And the Heavens reject not,
The desire of the moth for the star
Of the night for the morrow,
The devotion to something afar
From the sphere of our sorrow?

2006-01-25T08:36:00.000-08:00

Heard a firangi asking a girl in the headoffice lounge why the admission officer (what do you call those people who give out admissions in schools ???) was so late and the girl replied giggling "it's Pakistan! It's normal here" . Gosh I was soooo angry . My patriotism woke up and was extremely offended and I had to hold back the reins real tight not to give the stupid girl a good telling-off .

Went to get a tricycle for my son . Found a really nice looking made in pakistan one . Bought it, brought it home, he played for 5 minutes on it ... no rough play, just sitting nicely on it and noticed the gum holding the lights onto the cycle peeling off, the front handles almost coming off, the horn wouldn't blow .... Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .... kab tak aakher ... kab tak sabbar karoon ....... YES IT IS PAKISTAN, THIS IS NORMAL HERE ! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

With Apologies To The Sikh Community ... Here Is Another One

2006-01-25T06:44:00.000-08:00

A Sikh hears too many jokes about stupid sikhs ... feeling annoyed he calls a meeting of all his community . He asks them who was making all the jokes ... someone tells him it's a guy called Richard living in New York . He goes to NY, finds Richard and asks him was it really him making all the stupid sikh jokes and if he doesn't give a satisfactory answer he was gonna kill him . Richard tries to deny in the beginning but then he admits to being the culprit ... he tells the sikh he could kill him if he answered one of his questions . Sikh agrees . Richard asks, there are 3 people living in my flat ; my mother, my wife and who is the third . The Sikh thinks and thinks but can't answer ... tells Richard he won't kill him but he has to tell him the answer . Richard gives the answer ... pointing to himself he says, "Third person is Richard".

Sikh goes back to Amritsar ... tells his relatives he fa
iled to kill Richard because he asked him a very difficult question that he couldn't answer but if they answered it right he would go back to NY and kill him . They ask him the question . He repeats it ... noone is able to answer it . They ask him and he replies, "My wife, my mother and (pointing to himself) Richard ! "

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

2006-01-23T20:57:00.000-08:00

Been trying to hibernate lately but this "zaalim samaj" (cruel society) won't let me . I wish I lived in a multi-storey building and then i could go "Up on A Roof" and be happy for a while . Not that I am not happy ... just that I need some time to myself , without any mundane thoughts . I don't want to think about the latest insult hubbie hurled at me, how I am going to survive the rest of the month in whatever money I have got left, what to wear to school next day, will I ever be a "normal" person again ... and blah blah . Past 3 years since I have been married it's been drilled so much into my head that I am some looney from Mars or some place even worse that i ahve literally started believing it . I just can't do anything right and worse still I accept it that way . Ugh ... why am I whining again ???

At the moment all I want from life is enough money to buy an iPod ... seriously ! I love my music and I take it very serious ... it's one thing that has been my saviour at times when I have just given up hope . Hubbie doesn't like my choice of music ... he is more into Beethoven, Chopin etc while I can't stand those though I do like Yanni and Kenny G . I listen to anything from "Yay Raat Bheegi Bheegi" to "Babu Ji Zara Dheere Chalo", from "Hollaback Girl" to "I Have Had The Time Of My Life" .

Okey I admit this is a lousy post ... can't help it ... am in a lousy mood .

I didn't have access to the net past few days ... wanted to put up a special post on the 19th of Jan for zaksie ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY pal .................. :p

what nonsense

2006-01-16T01:14:00.000-08:00

It's 1 am and i can't sleep . firstly i went to bed feeling hungry but stubbornly refusing to believe it . After an hour of tossing and turning in bed i get my lazy b*** out of the bed . problem now was it's raining outside, the way to the ki9tchen is through a huge empty place with a tin roof and no glass in the windows ... had to grope around in the dark looking for something warm to put on ... bumped into my son's squelchy rubber duck, stepped on his plastic spiderman (and that hurt), stumbled over an empty water bottle and finally found my hubbie's coat . Went out, made myself my most favourite midnight meal fried eggs and cold, staling bread (YUCK) and came out into the tv lounge (doesn't that sound like a lovely name for a 4 by 4 cell with a tv and a pc in it and a heater that won't even burn a polyester sock) . Anyways, here I am rambling on about nothing at all . I can't even think of a decent song to hum to myself ... all I can think of is Ladki Hai Ya Chhadi Hai Pattakhey Ki Lari Hai Shola Hai Phuljari Hai ........... :(((

Things were pretty tense past 36 hours but are okey now ... won't go into details but I assure you once I get enough money in my hands I will never ever return to this place again or to these people ... will take my son and disappear somewhere where I can start anew .......... :((((

Bought my son 2 books from Saeed Book Bank in Isloo ... these people are soooo expensive ... could have hopped over to the old book shop oppositte but since SBB started off from Peshawar so I have a soft spot for the place .... anyway so why am I whining ? Hmmm .... yeah bought a spiderman coloring book that he wouldn't put back on the shelf since he loves the stupid character and another is a book specially for toddlers . It's about a piglet that won't eat and says YUK to everything . Tell me people is it right to try and teach my on through a book with a pig as the main character .... you guys know what our religion thinks of the animal !

Enough ................ have to wake up for school in the morning .... better get going ... the beautiful teacher with the pretty earrings is sitting here in her red satin pj's that she asked her cousin to bring thinking she might look like Madhuri (that's the highest I can aim for) but obviously my hair are a mess, I don't have any make up on and the zits are coming on like anything thanks to all the gurr (that sweet stuff made in villages out of sugar cane and dry fruits) I have been hogging on .

AHHHHHHHHHH ........ TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY ........ BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT ...... AND BECAUSE IN THIS CASE BEAUTY IS MORE THAN SkIN DEEP ............ YAWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN .......

Modest = Moi ??? Naaaaaaaaaaaa

2006-01-13T14:39:00.000-08:00

This is for all you people out there who wonder why I call myself "Beautiful" Stranger . No rooms left for no doubts no more ... He he ha haa HAAAAA ... (ofcourse a student wrote his for her lovely marm khe khe )

Teaching Can Be Fun :D

2006-01-07T13:06:00.000-08:00

I have scanned a creative writing essay the kids gave me yesterday . Had a hard time not squealing with laughter in class. Tried my best to stop myself but I just had to share it with all . ENJOY ;)

what's cookin' ?

2006-01-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

6th day cook has been on a sick leave . Been feeding my hubbie leftovers from 2 weeks back . They have finally started smelling too bad for me to cover it up by adding corriander leaves and the likes . Okey dorks it means I have been cooking today ... boo hoo . Half asleep, half awake asked the driver to bring a mixtuire of stuff that I had absolutely no clue what I was going to do with . Ended up with brinjals, cauliflower and lots of onions . Now what do I do with them ? Hmmm ... had some potatos at home . Fried them, took them out and put them aside, fried the cauliflower and put it aside, fried onions, added salt, red pepper and gravy/curry masala to it ... that'snot the end ... found some soya sauce and tomato ketchup and added that as well ... after a while added back the fried vegetables, some tomatos and green peppers . It's done, but don't know how it tastes . Luckily hubbie has very weak tatse buds or he is extremely patien so I know he will eat it and also praise it . As for myself, I HATE CAULIFLOWER ... and I also don't have the traditional (read as healthy) lunch/dinner . Will probably eat a candy toast .

Son has a cough and a fever . Drpak what is better, Velosef or Ventolin ?

Ho ho ha ha HA

2006-01-07T12:16:00.000-08:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

O Two Needed

2006-01-06T23:04:00.000-08:00

No Star Plus since one week ... Oxygen PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE ... I can't live without the saas bahu soaps ... what is Tulsi Auntie doing ... Is Nandini in Jail ... what is Mohini plotting next ... ?!?! Boo HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... I HATE PM ... the creep . :(

Asked the kids to write on whatever they were thiunking of at that time ... gave them 10 minutes to think and 10 minutes to finish writing in . There is a real beyblade revolution going on ... more than 70% wrote they were thinking about it and Didgimon and stuff . The girls were all thinking of eid and what to wear . A few were really nice even beyong my expectations . A couple were funny ... one kid wrote about my son ... it was hilarious ... :D:D:D

The new medication is making me eat like a horse ... I haven't eaten so much in a long long while . I am putting on weight ... I just hope the cravings for sweets stop soon or I am gonna get fat . but as an auntie tells me all the time ... khoobsurat logon ko farq nahin parta (beautiful people don't get affected by such things) ... ;) Hehehehe .

My First and Only Urdu Ghazal

2006-01-04T17:24:00.000-08:00

okey rai this one is for you ... not in content ofcourse ... *rolling eyes* Can't remember all of it though .

Bujjhi bujjhi raaton mein jaane kab tak
Bethi rahoon gi tere intezaar mein
Teri yaad ka diya liye .

Tab kabhi aankhon se baat ho jaati thi
Tassawur mein tujh se hum kalam ho jaati thi
Par ab to ..........................

ROFL .... gasp gasp ... I just can't go on any more .... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bill Clinton and Madhuri Dixit

2006-01-04T17:22:00.000-08:00

Q : Why would people start doubting Bill Clinton's mental state if he married Madhuri Dixit ?

A : People will start thinking, "Bill do pagal hai".

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

P.S. This wsa my fav. joke in college ... :D

Music Dissection

2006-01-03T21:04:00.000-08:00

Sali tu mani nahin, kabhi tu maney gi .... how sick !

kajra Re, kajra re, tere kaale kaale naina ... how Aish is feeling insecure about Malika Sherawat .;)

Neil 'n' nikki ... how come the man is dressed from head to toe and the girl trying her best to cover only what will save movie from getting x-rated ???

yay zindagi aik pal ka hai safar .... I always suspected it but Ali Zafar removed all doubts ... *puke*

Na re na ... preg women in grey flannels feeding each other half boiled eggs ... errrr ... come again ?!

Get Right ... ahhhhhhh J.Lo ... finally a catchy tune however much you guys out there may protest .

All of recent Mariah Carey ............. CHEAPPPPPPPPPPPPP .

Get it started .... love you black eyed peas ... mwaaaa .

Pekhawar kho Pekhawar de kana .... excellent song, cute singer ;)

I could go on but enough for now .

Only Fools Rush In

2006-01-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is first day of new term in school . Borrowed clothes from sis for the occassion . There is a deal on Chen One ... for shopping worth 2500 ruppees they give you a scratch card you earn shopping points . A friend bought a suit for 2400, then bought socks for a 100, got the scratch card and earned 1100 points . that's a lot and she got lots of nice free stuff . Thought I would try my luck, did the same, bought a suit for myself and a pair of socks for kid got the card scratched it and got a 100 points . BOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO . serves me right . Just got 2 floating candles . i am majorly bummed .

Last day of 2005!

2005-12-31T07:05:00.000-08:00

Okey pals, it's the last day of 2005 . Am I nostalgic for it ? Maybe,
maybe not . This year made me mature much more and much quicker than I ever
thought possible . My innocent beliefs were torn apart . Hubbie was caught
cheating on me . Atleast I am 100% sure now that this women's sixt sense
thingie is true . I had the feeling all along but kept shunning it away
thinking "what the heck, I am acting just like a strupid housewife with
nothing better on her hands then to feel insecure about her husband". But
seems like it was true all along ... :( :)

I also discovered that in times of trouble it's rightly said even one's
shadow runs away from oneself . Those siblings that I was soooo sure of,
that promised to stand by my side whatever I may decide treated me like a
pariah . They felt insecure whenever I was around their hubbies ... as if I
was gonna grab them as soon as I could . It was disgusting but true . My
son cried after them every time they left the house in their cars with their
hubbies but noone thought of ever taking him out . My friends just
completely disappeared from the scene . I felt like such a fool ... how
could I be so stupendously naive as to believe anyone would help me or stand
by me . It has never happenned and never will ... I ahve always fought my
wars alone and that's how it's gonna be ... I am my only support, my only
friend .

Oh, WHATEVERRRRRr ... ! What's wrong with me ? The year's gone, the time
has passed, the pain has healed but the scars remain and I want it to stay
that way to save myself from future stupidity .

As Annie sang, "Tomorrow Is Another Day" . Bad things will happen and the
good things will also come . I atleast found through my experinece who
really was a friend and who wasn't . A person I had been sort of friends
with for a long time turned out to be a "real" friend ... standing by me and
supporting me through it all . You know who I am talking about and thank
you once again ... it meant a lot to me and heloped tremendously knowing
someone believed in me and knew I was right . :p

Ummmm ... what am I looking forward to in the new year ? Maybe a trip to
India ... that should be fun . Also my son learning his ABC's ... would
make me such a proud Momma ... I mean I am proud even now ... but that would
just add up to it ... :D

Another year means another birthday ... YIKKEEEEESSSSSSs ... I am nearing 30
... damn, when I was in matric I thought 30 was soooo DAMN OLD ! But I
don't feel the age in my bones or in my heart . Father says "A woman is as
old as she looks and a man as old as he feels". Told him that was most
definitely said by a "Man" but either way it goes to my advantage ... I
certainly look much younger than I am (hehehehe) and feel even younger than
that . One of my cousin's is 39 and she looks my age . If that's how 39/40
is I don't mind it at all . :D

Okey, coming to teh resolutions part, just liek every other year I have
absolutely no resolutions except maybe to stick to my job , put those
coppery purplish streaks in my hair, and pray more regularly ... not in that
order ofcourse ... :(

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all you freaks out there and obviously to be reading this
you must be a freak ... as no sane person would have the stamina to go this
far .... hehehehe .

Take care ... love ya all ... ummm ... in a brotherly, sisterly way ...
*rolling eyes and feeling sheepish at same time * :D

Sister Of MY Heart

2005-12-29T16:01:00.000-08:00

Dear S', it's your birthday today ... you are far away and don't know how to reach you ... sure I called you on your cell but it's not the same ... I am more used to giving you a bear hug and holding you close to my heart for long moments . We have been so close and yet we have drifted so far apart . All the ups and down's we been through, the misunderstandings, the distances have changed things somehow . It's one birthday too many for me to be wishing you from far away .

Look now what you have done ... you have made me speechless ... I know I always had a weakness in ready tears but I have been becoming good t hiding them but you have made them come to my eyes . I miss you my most darling friend/cousin/soul-sis . I just keep on nurturing the hope we will be together again somehow somewhere someday . I miss you ......... so much .

Happy Birthday once again ! :)

Another Sick/Sikh One :D

2005-12-29T15:15:00.000-08:00

A Sikh goes to Hyde Park . Sees a lump of shit . Goes near it and says, "Hmmm that looks like shit." Bends down and sniffs it and says, "Hmmm it smells like hit". Next he picks some up with his finger and tastes it and says, "Hmmmmmmmmm ... that even tastes like shit". Straightens up and says, "Thank you Guru in heaven I didn't step on it."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D

My New Love

2005-12-28T17:06:00.000-08:00

Errr ... this might disgust some people ... specially those not on my freaks list but I have to make this confession ... it's been gnawing at me for the past 2 and a 1/2 years . Okey, now don't think it's easy so don't make it any more difficult for me ... here I go ... ummmmmmmm .... errrrrr ... ahem ahem .... okey, boys and girls and ladies and gentlemen this freak hereby confesses that she/moi is a BOOGER LOVER ! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .... okey I did it and I am proud of myself so all you nincompoops out there may eat your hearts out for I have come out and 'fessed .

No, I don't mean I like eating them, or sniffing them, or I take out my own or that of everyone else ... I just like my son's boogers . My elder sis got me hooked . She used to say same thing about her kids and I wold be totally grossed out but after having my own I have realized how much fun it is . I deliberately let the mucous collect up for a couple of days and then holding his nostril with index finger I use my thumb to pull out/scratch out his booger . It's such a relieffffffff when it comes out nice and thick and big and .... oh alright won't get into all the "juicy" details . I feel like I have literal;ly helped him breath .

Hehehehe ... those of you with kids try this today and those without one start working on one just for this pleasure .... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA .

Still Remembered

2005-12-27T23:03:00.000-08:00

Parveen Shakir was a famous urdu poet . Having graduated from Harvard in English Literature, she opted for C.S.S (Civil Superior Services) and got into the Income Tax group . She chose to write poetry in Urdu and became famous from the publication of her very first collection of poems . Here is one of the many I like :

Chara gar haar gaya ho jaise
Ab tu marna he dawa ho jaise

Mujh se bicchra tha woh pehle bhi magar
Ab ke yay zakham naya ho jaise

Mere maathe pay tere pyaar ka haath
Rooh par dast-e-saba ho jaise

Yoon buhat hans ke mila tha, lekin
Dil he dil mein woh khafa ho jaise

Sir chhupayein to badan khulta hai
Zeest muflis ki ridda ho jaise.

Toothache

2005-12-27T04:09:00.000-08:00

Aaaahhhhh Dahlin's, it's so good to be back in freak land . Have you ever had a toothache ? Worse than that, have your wisdon teeth come out yet ? Booo hoooo ... mine started coming out some 3 years back during my M.A. final exams and I was very scared thinking they were going to hurt and I wasn't gonna be able to appear in the exams BUT all went well . The lower left one only cut through the gum but didn't come out all they way . Couple of weeks back it decided to explore the world outside better . AND PEOPLE IT HURT LIKE HELL ! I had a 104 temperature, was shivering like crazy, my teeth wouldn't stop chattering .... ah it's been horrible . It's better now thanks to the antibiotics . I did though get something good out of it ... for example hubbie clened up the baby ... okey ONCE but he did ... and that's a beginning and feels good ... :) Those of you who have children would know how nice it feels when hubbie decides to play "mommy" . It was soooo sweet and cute . Made some of the old feelings I had for him come back .

Hey, it's also his birthday today but I am not with him . Am at my parents'. But he said it was okey . Now that was nice of him too . Being quite nice to me lately come to think of it ... could it be something fishy ... hmmmm ... Women ... *rolling eyes* ... :D For a change I am happy . Been a long time since I last experienced that feeling . :D

Oh, merry christmas all ... Islamabad looked beautiful all decorated but as every year Kohsar Market had the best decorations ... the singing, dancing Santa was fun . I wish Eids were this fun too . Don't know why we don't do all the things Christians do on X-Mas ... like put up fancy colourful decorations, all men and women and kids go for prayers, collect gifts from people for the kids who can't afford them like at orphanages or in hospitals . It really brings out the best in Christians ... makes them reeeeaaaaaallll christian ... you know what I mean ... ;)

Had a meeting with the school head and it was awful. Was supposed to start at 9:30 but instaed it did on 2:30 and she went on and on telling us about her individual achievement and won't say a word that was useful to us ... I was really bummed since I went with my toothache and fever .

Hubbie says "gravy" is an American word and the english don't use it . Is it ? I wanna know .

Ciao for now and I missed you all . Will write again soon ... GO FREAKS ... :D

P.S. Pakistan really give a bad beating to England didn't it ? :D:D:D
P.P.S. Do wisdom teeth really make one wiser ? I don't feel any different . How about youi people ? :S

The Animal Test And The Irony Of It

2005-12-14T00:07:00.000-08:00

I made hubbie take the Country Quiz ... he turned out to be Israel .... hehehe . Since that sounded better than Sudan so I decided to have a "competition" and try the Animal Test . Well, I turned out to be a "wooly mammoth" which is an ice age elephant in simpler terms ... you think that's funny *huffing and puffing* ... wait till you hear what hubbie turned out to be .... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL *gasp gasp* ... okey will end the suspense but oh my gosh it's so funny ... he is a "mosquitoe" ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Poor English

2005-12-12T08:47:00.000-08:00

I just have to share this with all you freaks out there ; it just had me cracking up ... :D

English gone awry!

These are signs in hotels and other public places in foreign countries where they make the effort to write signs in English but their efforts go astray.

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpuse.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpuse.

In a Rome laudry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

On the tap in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towel please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up the country people's fashion.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

English well talking.
Here speeching American.

Visit To The Shrink Pt. 2

2005-12-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

Hmmm , haven't been posting anything the past few days . Been sick . Same old thing ... yeah guessed it right ... depression . Been having mild spells ... mild in the sense that since I have been ALLLLLLL the way there so this seems quite a joke . Went to see the doc (yeah the handsome one with the nice perfume ehehehe) . First of all was disappointed not to see a stampede there ... yara of blogging guys trying to catch a glimpse of moi ... *giggle* and then thought like most of them (infact all I have ever met) they just couldn't sum up the guts to meet up with a beauty with brains (sounds like a line out of the Miss World pageant!!!) . Anyway, hubbie accompanied this time . Doc's final verdict : I have a biolar disorder, meaning a manic state of depression . Now that shouldn't surprise me since I have never had any qualms about accepting my freaky streak but seriously speaking it is kinda scary . Scariest part is that it carries into kids and I don't want my child to inherit it from me (boo hoo for me) . The basic definition of a bipolar disorder is such that it makes me doubt everything about myself ... all that I am, all that I believe, all that I have faith in . For example, I have this gift you call it or a curse but I am a bit into dream forecasts and I can sometimes understand what other people are dreaming of ... I mean I can translate a dream . I know what most of you must be thinking "... that shows you do have a manic disorder but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH ... how can I make anyone believe me ? Not that I really care about what anyone thinks (no disrespect meant to any of you reading this) in the sense that what's important is what I believe myself . For me this has always been just an accepted fact but when the doc was talking about all of this I felt a doubt raise it's head for the first time ever . It's probably just that I am scared ... No, let's say I am very scared . I don't want to be the hallucinating type , I don't wnt to be really "crazy"you know . I mean it's kewl being a freak but it's not nice at all being crazy . I have been through it kana ... I have had people sniggering behind my back saying "oh she is pagal" and trust me it doesn't feel good . I ahve always had a "devil may care" attitude towards such ignorant people but sometimes it can really hurt .

Sigh ... I can just go on and on about this . But best thing is to keep myself intact and not to let anything anyone says break me because if I loose faith in what I believe in and that special bonding I have with Him I will have nothing to live for ... not even my son 'cause what good is an insane mother to anyone ... :)) I'll be just a stigma attached to him ... it won't be nice for him to hear or to think "my mother was a looney who couldn't tell the difference between a dream and real life ; she was like a crazy prophet shouting through Hyde Park "The World Is Coming To An End" ??!?!?!?!

I Am Sudan ... :P

2005-12-10T22:49:00.000-08:00

Found a link to this quiz called "Which Country Are You?" on a friend's blog . And guess what ? I am SUDAN ... *burst out laughing* . Here is what it had to say :

You're Sudan!

Every time you get a headache, you reach for some aspirin, only to
realize that someone destroyed it. That's just how things are going for you right
now... it's hard to eat, hard to sleep, hard to not have a headache. You try to
relax, but people always jump on you about something that doesn't make sense. If
you were a goat, you'd be a Nubian.

Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

In Times Of Weakness

2005-12-06T19:58:00.000-08:00

Something a friend said to me brings me so much strength at times when I am down ... here I would like to share it with you all ...

1 : Don't tell God how great your problem is ; tell your problems how great God is .

2 : Losing a battle doesn't mean you have lost the war .

So true ! Thanks pal ... :P

Thus Spoketh Satan Or Modern Man , Defiant In Ignorance Or Maybe Pain

2005-12-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

Is this the region, this the soil, the clime,"
Said then the lost Archangel, "this the seat
That we must change for Heaven?--this mournful gloom
For that celestial light? Be it so, since he
Who now is sovereign can dispose and bid
What shall be right: farthest from him is best
Whom reason hath equalled, force hath made supreme
Above his equals. Farewell, happy fields,
Where joy for ever dwells! Hail, horrors! hail,
Infernal world! and thou, profoundest Hell,
Receive thy new possessor--one who brings
A mind not to be changed by place or time.
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
What matter where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less than he
Whom thunder hath made greater? Here at least
We shall be free; th' Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reigh secure; and, in my choice,
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.
But wherefore let we then our faithful friends,
Th' associates and co-partners of our loss,
Lie thus astonished on th' oblivious pool,
And call them not to share with us their part
In this unhappy mansion, or once more
With rallied arms to try what may be yet
Regained in Heaven, or what more lost in Hell?"

(Book 1, Paradise Lost)

Visit To The Shrink

2005-12-05T07:33:00.000-08:00

Went to see a new shrink today . Had an impressive list of degrees on his ego-wall . Between you and me, he was quite cute too ... :D No, not cuuute ... handsome and he smelled good ... DON'T GET ANY IDEAS ... he had probably bathed in the perfume . Even the waiting area smelled of it . Nonsence apart , I feel I can trust this guy and his ability as a doc for the loonies . He listened more than he talked, he didn't offer sympathetic looks at the emotional parts in the story, he more than anything else didn't treat me like most doctors treat us "muggles" ... as brainless twits . He told me quite frankly what he thought of the "case", and how he thought he could help and what I had to do . Am going to see him again with hubbie on Friday ... and No that doesn't mean that all you guys out there dying to see beautiful moi and find out more about me can make plans together and sit outside every shrinks' door that you know waiting for moi to show up on Friday ... (seriously I am killing myself) .

P.S. To all you girls snorting and writhing ... how would they know it's her? Well, the answer is pretty obvious ... how many beautiful girls are there who also happen to have brains to put Einstein to shame ?
(Seriously nowwww ... have founbd a new way of killing myself ... laughing myself to death)

WE WON ... yahoooo .

2005-12-03T13:26:00.000-08:00

Pakistan beat England ith one innings and a 100 runs . Shoaib Akhtar was devastating and Danish Kaneria worked wonders with his googly .

Youhana ... oops ... Mohamad Yousaf's double century and Kamran Akmal's century and a half was a feast to watch . Hurrayyyy ... can't wait for the one dayers to start . :D

Beautiful Pakistan

2005-12-02T17:55:00.000-08:00

I guess I never mentioned it but my hubbie happens to be quite a good photographer . Here I am posting some of the pics he took on a tour through Punjab and a couple of pictures of N.W.F.P. They are really amazing though I have scanned them on a below 100 resolution . So feast your eyes ... Pakistan is beautiful .
Pic1 is that of Derawar Fort Bahawalpur .
Pic2 : Shah Rukn-e-Alam Mausoleum .
Pic 3 : Palace of Nawab of Bahawalpur. Plans are underway to convert it into a branch for National College of Arts (N.C.A.)
Pic 4 : National Wildlife Park Bahawalpur .
Pic 5 : A View of Mohmand Agency N.W.F.P.
Pic6 : Punjnad Waterworks near Bahawalpur .
Pic7 : Inner Portal of Shah Rukn-e-Alam Mausoleum, Multan.
Pic8 : Lake Mahodand, Swat .

Complaint

2005-12-02T09:42:00.000-08:00

Hey how come nobody ever ever posts any comments on my blog ? Not that my posts are that bad ... I mean I have commented on worse posts . :(((

Confusion

2005-11-29T21:28:00.000-08:00

I am having what some call a "writer's block" ... not claimining that I am a writer ... but then on second thought if I am not a writer then what do you call a person that keeps a blog and does nothing but "write" on it ? ... lemme think ... a loser, a freak, a lifeless moron ... ummm ... that's scary . Let's say I am a writer only a not so good one . Yeah, that definitely sounds better ... :D

Last night hubbie got slightly irritated with me for "fully" participating with him in a discusiion about the hottest babes in Bollywood . He thinks it's abnormal for a woman to talk about other women in such a way ... meaning he can't understand my crush on Sushmita Sen . Hope you guys know her ... if you don't, you don't know what you are missing ... ;)

Problem is he minds if I talk about the male actors, he get's suspicious if I like a female actor , so what am I supposed to do, talk about politics??? ... hehehe.

One observation he made has got me thinking . According to him, Kareena Kapoor

is the best dancer "masti"wise and Preity Zinta is the best dancer "attitude" wise . Do you agree ??

And Then There Was Rain

2005-11-27T08:12:00.000-08:00

Everyone has been sick ... son, hubbie, mother-in-law, colleagues ... thanks to the cold, dry weather . But last night it finally rained . The sound of thunder woke me up . I love the smell of rain on dry earth. So there is one problem solved .

Went to hubbie's colleagues house last night for dinner . The hubbie is a punjabi and the wifey is Kashmiri . It's a love marriage and to prove that lady had a baby exactly 9 and ahalf months after marriage AND (yes that wasn't proof enough) had another one 10 months later ... HAHAHA . The wife tells everyone about that quite some pride . She has a very fair complexion while hubbie is extremelyyyyy dark ... I mean so dark that when he opened the gate we thought it was a "living" house and the gate had opened by itself ... hahahaha ... am I mean or what . But to be fair, they are really nice people ... but then who said their complexions made them not-so-nice ?!?!

Hubbie went ahead and bought himself a Moto Razor (or is that Razr?!). I am hopping mad at him . I feel so mich like a single parent sometimes . I have decided, I am not gonna get him anything for his birthday and am gonna become the worst miser ever . I will save up all my pay and probably go for a trip to India later this year with the school-people and blow it all away there . Did I tell you the one really cool thing about the place where I am teaching ? The teachers go on a bus from Lahore to India every year ... or to any near-by country they want to . I have always wanted to see India . Let's see if things work out for me ... pray for a li'l luck for moi .

I HATE FLIES ... yes houseflies . I have one buzzing around me right now and it's very annoying . No matter how hard one tries to keep them out they always find a way to come in . *swat, swat* nah ... didn't get it ... me is outta here ... gotta kill it ... *grinding teeth* ... to infinity and beyonddddddddddddddddddddddd ...

Dear Life

2005-11-25T20:19:00.000-08:00

Hubbie's thyroid has gone hyper again ... B.P. is touching the sky ... fighting all the time which means I am boo-hoo-ing over my sad life all the time . That in turn makes me depressed and my craving for sweets increases ... just ate a mini snickers, a piece of cranberry mousse cake and a serving (quite a generous one) of chocolate mousse . DAMNNNNNN ... this is gonna get me all fat again like I was in Lahore last year . I touched an all time high of 140lbs which is very fat for my 5ft 6". My usual weight is between 116-120lbs and when I was expecting my son my weight during the final trimester was a 155lbs . Gosh, why the heck am I talking about my weight ? Friends and family says I am paranoid about it but I can't help it ... I used to be very fat when I was little and had to hear mean comments from other kids about it and tolerate their sniggerings .

Alright enough . Coming ot the highlight of the day, I got another 20 profile views and now the total is ... ummm ... okey I won't say how much . When I reach 200 then I will let you guys know ... presuming anyone ever reads all this ... hahaha . Must mention a friend's contribution to my increase in popularity ... has put up a link to my blog on his'. Thanks pal ... :D hehehe ... that was payback for all the free dream interpretations you have been getting , admit it or not ... :P

Of Bees And Birds ... lol

2005-11-24T20:10:00.000-08:00

Hehehehe ... this one is funny . They have made me class-teacher for the 6th standard . One of my duties is to decorate the boards around the classroom according to a theme . I decided to use black, red and white (my favourite colours) . Now for background I am using black, for borders white and for decorating borders I am using red mainly . I asked the headmistress if I could have a vampire or some spooky theme but the bore (yeah I don't mean boar) woldn't let me . Now I am gonna put up ladybirds and honeybees ... :D AHAHAHAHAHA ... okey okey will share the joke too . I swear it was completely unintentional . It just turned out that after I had cutout more than half of the shapes I realized what (sick but funny:D) meaning can be taken from it . LOLOLOLOLOL . I am sure the kids,if they don'talready know about ... ahem,ahem, will really look back very fondly at the mistake their silly li'l teacher made .

*Still laughing*

Of Ant And Elephant

2005-11-18T22:03:00.000-08:00

Heard this one in school today ...

Miss Ant wants to marry Mr. Elephant . Her parents are very conservative and refuse to let her marry outside the clan . Miss Ant is forced to marry a Mr. Ant. On the wedding night when Mr. Ant tries to get "close" to Miss (Mrs.) Ant she screams ... "Don't come near me". Mr. Ant is shocked/scared/alarmed and asks her why not? Miss Ant says, "I am going to have Mr. Elephant's baby". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2005-11-18T17:03:00.000-08:00

I really need to spend a long day at the beauty salon and allow myself to be pampered. I got a mania nd pedicure done just around eid and now I need another one. It's the salon's fault ... the workers didn't do even a decent job thanks to all the screaming and yelling and horrible glares the genteel ladies were giving each other trying to get into the blessed "chair" for the various "treatments" they needed.

Anyway, not to wander off from the real story, I was saying I need to go to the parlour ... beauty parlour kana yara ... *huff and puff*. I am also dying to dye my hair for ages. Why don't I ??? Well NO NO hubbie doesn't mind, neither do inlaws ... just that I wanna dye my hair purple ... :D You know that coppery indigo/violet kinda purple ... put thick streaks of those in my hair . Now if I do that hubie will certainly have a very good excuse for strangling me and for the whole society he will have a very reasonable justification for it too. Ummm ... assuming that the only people who ever go right through my posts are men ... can you guys tell me what you think of the idea ? What idea ??? Thick-heads, what I have been rambling on about for the past 20 lines ... getting purple streaks.

Blooper

2005-11-16T22:03:00.000-08:00

What would you say about an english teacher who spells Nobel as in Nocel Prize as noble prize ... and yep in small letters ??? GOD, I am soooooooo embarrassed . Thankfully before the kids could notice I fixed the mistake . So much for my masters in English .

Sending through a Mobile Phone

2005-11-12T11:55:00.000-08:00

wonder if mobile blogging actually works!?lets find out:d

Grrrrrr

2005-11-09T00:02:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to put up a post for ages but something or thr other happens to the computer just as I press the "Publish" button . I am sooo annoyed .

Okey, first things first ... Eid Mubarak to you all . I was terribly depressed on eid day ... had a BIG fight with hubbie dahlin' . Basically reason was I had forgotten to take my anxiety/depression medicine with me and was freaking up nut hubbie showed up just as I was reaching the danger level and I took it all out on him . Aaahhh man but it felt so good . :D We had 2 eids as usual in N.W.F.P. My in-laws had it on the 5th I guess and my parents living only 10 minutes away celebrated it the next day . Funny na ?

I have started school and so has my son . It's actually quite fun . He does cry though when I am leaving him off but he has been going only for 2 days and in the beginning they all do that don't they ?

I sold my Samsung D500 and bought a .... hold your breath ... a motorolla C115 ... LOL . I appreciate my parents even mor now that I am experiencing parenthood firsthand . I sold it to pay for my son's admission fees . I wonder how much my parents sacrificed for my every little happiness and that too ungrudgingly .

I was supposed to go visit a friend today but just at the last moment I rang her up and told her I had a "big" lunch at my uncle's that I just couldn't miss . It was a lie of course . Truth is I got a driver just yesterday and I feel free like a bird . I suddenly decided it had been a long time since I last saw my most favourite relative ... i.e. my cousin's wife . Well she is 39 years old and when she got married she was 25 and moi only 10 but we hit it off from the start . She taught me a lot of things that I know today including her language . Yep, I learned to speka english from her she being an American and all ... nah nah not an ABCD but a true blue blooded American . She has gone out with her kids and will be back shortly so i thought I would post my long overdue thoughts and doings .

Plus, I got my much coveted 100 profile views ... I am soooo "IN" .... :D

Ramblings ...

2005-10-29T23:17:00.000-07:00

Ah, so much to write about and yet don't know where to start from . Been a long time since my last post . Looking back, it's been a pretty rough going for me but Alhamdulillah things are starting to get better and make some sense . Okey now this post is definitely not gonna be about "poor li'l moi" and "boo hoo-ing" for meself .

Let's start off with what is top most on many peoples minds these days, the earthquake here . Some of you may groan since it seems that's all people can talk about these days but trust me it's even more horrible then the pictures you see on tv or in newspapers . I am living in Rawalpindi these days and used to pass by Margalla Towers almost every day . I and hubbie often used to talk about how nice it would be to have a place of our own there even to the extent that we got the brochures and brought them home to be considered by my father-in-law . The first hint of the disaster created by the earthquake to reach us was the collapse of these very towers . I still can't forget the disbelief with which we all saw the first pictures of it coming on tv . That was the least scary part . Do you know the policemen and some say even the army jawans wouldn't let the ordinary public help at first because they were busy looking through the rubble for money and other valuables ? Same stories are coming from Balakot and Muzzaffarabad of people literally stealing from the dead .

Then there is the latest fad of "helping in the relief operaions" . Young boys and in some cases girls are setting up relief camps in places like Super and Jinnah Super in Islamabad (for those of you who don't know these are the 2 most "happening" places in the Capital). Now nothing wrong with that but puhleease you don't have to come wearing FCUK shirts and shades at 6 o'clock in the evening hoping some TV crew would come for an interview . *eyes rolling* Anyway, who really cares as long as the aid reaches the right places . What a cynic I am ... ehehehe ... sorry guys couldn't help that last jab .

Okey, on a more personal front, inlaws are quite adamant I take son to a pre-school since at the mature age of 2 years and 4 months he still refuses to say anything apart from Baba and Mama . Small, wee li'l hitch there ... schools take as much as Rs. 50,000 admission fees for the pre-schools alone . Yikes ! Now the only solution to that is that I get a job in some school and get admission for my son in the same place which would mean no admission or monthly charges . Problem with that is I HATE WAKING UP EARLY IN THE MORNING . So what now ? I applied to one place and also got the job which I have to start from Tuesday … but I don’t want to …. Boo hoo hoo . L

The latest place to visit in Islamabad is Gelatto Affair . It’s an ice cream parlour and those of you who are familiar with Karachi must have heard about it . Now I had been dying to go but the limited budget we are on wouldn’t permit(t) me to indulge myself … but one fine day I finally hought to hell with it I am gonna spend from the money I had been saving up in case son must go to school on full fees … (I am soooo sweet no ?) I left in my most pathetic pair of clothes and with no lipstick on (the only way you would catch me without wearing one is if I die and go to HELL) and my hubbie wore his rust coloured shalwar kameez from Charsadda in N.W.F.P. and Peshawari chappal . On getting there what do we see … these teenagers and those pretending to be teenagers but clearly looking like it had been a decade since they enetered their 20’s dressed to kill … teeny tiny fancy tops with trousers that would put Kylie Minogue to shame (a veryyyy little bit of exaggeration there), huge clunky earrings and fluorescent make-ups and boys … well boys will be boys … what else can I say . As we passed by (I and hubbie dahlin’) they gawked at us as if “Save us the martians have landed”… and I being the totally chilled babe that I am matched their glares with “hey dudes and dudettes we have the money , so what’s your problem?” HAHAHAHAHAHA … I love myself soooo much . As for the place itself, this BBCD who was there perhaps with his aunt or cousin or whoever she was took the words right out of my mouth … he very coolly turned to her with a look of utter disgust on his face and says “This is the place you have been talking non-stop about since the past 5 days?” :D:D:D

Did I tell you what happened to, what I call my hankie pankie hotmail address ? Boo hoo for me again … trying to act mega kewl I put the settings to this option where one is supposed to change the password every 75 days . It just happened to be my wonderful luck that just on the 70th day I had to go to Pindi where I have no computer. Coming back after a month or so I tried to connect but no use … the password has expired and I can’t retrieve the addie … waaaahhhhh …. Sniff sniff (again).

I guess that’s all for now folks … see ya later … and yeah I missed you too . *blowing kisses*

I Love The Metaphysicals .

2005-10-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

THE FLEA.
by John Donne

MARK but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is ;
It suck'd me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
Thou know'st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead ;
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pamper'd swells with one blood made of two ;
And this, alas ! is more than we would do.

O stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is.
Though parents grudge, and you, we're met,
And cloister'd in these living walls of jet.
Though use make you apt to kill me,
Let not to that self-murder added be,
And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.

Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be,
Except in that drop which it suck'd from thee?
Yet thou triumph'st, and say'st that thou
Find'st not thyself nor me the weaker now.
'Tis true ; then learn how false fears be ;
Just so much honour, when thou yield'st to me,
Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.

Boy oh Boy

2005-10-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

Guys, guys, I am totally awesome . I mean I always knew how cool I was but the past 3 or so weeks I have realized what an EXTREMELY awesome person I am . Can you believe it ... I can still laugh, and talk, and basically I am still ALIVE! Like after the horriffic 4 months and another one that just passed I am still able to remain calm and composed and sane above all . Which stupid shrink said I had a depressive disorder, that too a "serious" one . Let's see ... does a normal 25 (oh okey party poopers I am 26) years old woman with a 2 years old baby boy having been through one nervouis breakdown and several ECTs come through "unharmed" from 2 yaers of suspecting her hubbie has an extramarital affair and then an agonizing 6 months of "knowing" he does and when he finally comes to take you away from your parents place and you think *sigh* all is well at last you find a picture of a naked woman on his cell sent from that BITCH'S number ? I don't think so . But trust me I am FINE ... I surprise even myself sometimes with the strength I have in me to come out of lifes disasters . Of course I had that nervous breakdown episode but I am human after all .

SO now all of you who are thinking where I have been the past few weeks, I have been trying to make the most of what's left of my marriage . Hubbie insists he is a changed man . Let's see . Ciao for now .... :D

A Story I Just Remembered And Yet Can't Remember

2005-09-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

Does it happen to you too that you hear a really nice, inspiring, sensible story that could be so useful to you in times of trouble or loss of faith and then when you try to recall it you only remember parts of it and not the whole . On the other hand you hear a completely silly one that makes no sense at all and has no message good or bad to it and yet you can almost "visualize" it . I am suffering at the moment from a case of the former . I believe "some" of you atleast must have heard it too and could improve on it . This is how it goes ...

Once Allah asked the Angel of Death (Ezrael I think) if he had ever felt remorse at taking someone's life/soul . The Angel answered indeed he had but only twice ... one was when he was ordered to take the life of a mother who was travelling on a raft (or a wooden plank?!) with her infant son and once when {this guy had tried to create a heaven on earth and claimed it to be what Allah has promised the believers in the life hereafter} and just as he was about to enter it the Angel had to capture his soul . Allah said to the Angel do you know what happenned to that child you left crying and alone on the raft . The Angel replied in the negative and Allah said it was that same child who had later on on becoming king (of some place) had tried to defy Him and made the false heaven .

Moral Of The Story :
Help me here again guys ... I have an idea in my mind but can't quite put it in writing ... always happens to me ... can't explain myself . Please gimme a precise, clear moral to the story .

Making "Sense" Out Of Nothing At All

2005-09-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

There is so much repair work to do at home, plus we are getting the house repainted, the wood polished, the flooring changed . It's a lot of hassle but I love seeing order come out of chaos . But at the moment the smell of the termite spray is killing me . I got a splitting headache and my nose is blocked . I have been stuck upstairs all day 'cause of the masons and labourers and all ... yeah we have to observe "purdah" around them . My mother decided to sleep in my room as the smell of pesticides is worse there . Now my mother is the type who can't sleep even if you breathe too "loud" and as I said in an earlier post my sleep is anything but quiet . I talk, sing, fight, howl (etc) in my sleep not to forget kick as well . I remember slapping my mother twice in one night and she beating me up in the middle of the night ... AHAHAHAHA ... now that's suddenly gotten me in a good mood ... that was funny . Anyway, I had to creep out of the room which took me like a good 15 minutes to achieve without waking her up and now I am dreading going back again . Yikes ... if there is one person I am ever so slightlyyyy afraid of it's my mommie dearest ... not because she is SO bad but 'cause she can say really ummm harsh things when she is mad and that makes me answer back and I HATE hurting her . So I am scared of her 'cause I love her ... makes sense ?!?! Never mind !

2005-09-14T12:14:00.000-07:00

Found this blog on www.iceboxinsignia.blogspot.com It's a lot of fun . Do check it out .

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

How I Spent The Morning

2005-09-13T13:04:00.000-07:00

Things are looking nice and bright this morning . Woke up luxuriously late with my Mom coming to the rescue at the ungodly hour of 7 am and took out my son . It's nice to have the bed all to myself sometimes though don't get me wrong ... I LOVE having my son sleeping next to me with his arms wrapped around my hand :) It's a wonderful feeling . But as I said sometimes it's nice to stretch and roll all over the bed without kicking someone and getting kicked back . Yeah I am one of those people who can't sleep on their own side . I sleep in all types of awkward positions with my head hanging down the side of the bed, my feet on top of the head-rest and so on .

Anyway, had a nice breakfast madfe-up of corn flakes and then some tea and biscuits . I love dunkin' in biscuits in my tea though people around me find it quite embarrassing . What the heck yara, a person should be allowed atleast so much freedom ... what prissy(s) . Went out with Mom after that for shopping . Thank God she didn't take me to that filthy cloth market, any woman's dream place . YUCK ! Bought a pair of trousers for son ... he is only 2 but I had to buy a 3-4 years size for him ... it was so embarrassing ... it won't go around his waist ... khe khe khe . Got him shoes form another place . Thankfully my mother paid for both . I hate spending money on him ... :D How sweet !

Best part was going to this superstore where all the "kewel"sters come ... needless to say didn't even see a single cute guy ... infact saw no guys at all . It always happens to me . I remember going out with my friends in Lahore on fine night and going to alllllll the hip places and the only guy we saw was one in a dirty, stinking old Mickey Mouse costume . He even started waving at us from outisde the restaurant window . I could have died of mortification . Neways ... bought meself plnty of junk food to keep me busy for a while the best being the Haagen Daazs ice cream . My mother would die before she would buy me any so had to spend out of my own money which is sad but it was worth it . And I ahve a good mind to take the money back from my father ... fathers are soooo useful ... :D

Enough ! Gotta go and catch up on some more beauty sleep ... I LOVE sleeping . Best thing God created ... after moi ofcourse . And hey pal, thanks for bearing up with me last night ... you are the best (again, after moi ;) )

Something's Happening

2005-09-12T13:08:00.000-07:00

I am scared ... yep I get scared too . I am having strange dreams . Bad dreams ... scary dreams . They leave me disturbed . I can't talk to anyone about them because noone takes them or me seriously . I try telling my mother but she just laughs them off . It's irritating but that's how it is . My father asked me some question regarding the etymology of some word . For some reason I felt like giving him the right answer ... he got a surprised look on his face and says to me, "You do know some stuff but you never show it" . I sighed and told him what I don't understand how people can't just conclude themselves, "Baba, I don't have to prove anything to anyone ... the only person I ought to prove myself to is me and I have done that plenty of times." Needless to say he still didn't get me . Like the other night he called me "lewanay", meaning "crazy" . Ever since my episode at the psychiaric cum mental hospital I have become a bit touchy to the word . Before I could stop myself I told him "In a mad world it's only the mad that are sane; so thank you very much I am happy being considered not-sane by you." Now that was definitely rude but as I said I lost control for a while .

What was I planning to write about ? Oh yeah about the terrible dreams I am having . I dreamed my mother was told by someone there was a really good doctor at some hospital in another town and the whole family including my maternal uncle and his wife and ... well many other people from my mom's side ... we decide to give it a try . When we reach the place it's a large big area ... kinda like a colony ... of old, yellowish , dilipidated houses with no boundary walls that are so common here for houses to have . It's a spooky place and I can't understand what we are doing there . Then we see the hospital ... it's the same kinda building as the rest only it's two-storeyed . It reminds me of the song "Hotel California" ... once we enter it we can't get out . Then many strange, paranormal things seem to happen around us and we can all "feel" it . To cut it short, towards the end some strangers come to help me out ... I have money but I need more ... I see that my husband has already left but in a hurry as his wallet and some documents are left behind . I take out money from his wallet and leave the other stuff behind . I find myself out of the hospital and on a dusty, dirty road . I spot a small stall ... there is a middle-aged man with a black beard sitting there . He tells me to give him money and he would read the Qura'an for me . That's it . It doesn't sound so bad but the whole feel was what was chilling . Sort of felt like Miss Havisham's mansion and the aura surrounding the house . I don't know what to make of it . I am told by a friend I am quite good at dream interpretations but funny how I can never make anyhting out of my own dreams . Does anyone have a clue what this might have been about ?

I was reading an article about depressive disorders and in it was written that people with schizophrenia often think they can feel the paranormal, that they can tell something's about to happen or that they can see the future through dreams etc . Does this mean I am in for another episode at the shrink's ? I hate to think of it . Difficult and confusing as it is in writing, it is twice as impossible for me to explain my feelings to a stranger who gives me knowing and sympathetic looks thinking oh what a tragedy for this young girl to be so mad . Aaarrgghhh ... I wish I would get back to my "normal" self . I don't like this new me ... this person I have become since my illness . I am so irritable and always at war with the world . Last night I had a "fight" with God even . I am angry at Him for He won't listen to any of my prayers . My mother was shocked and even hit me so I would shut up but I couldn't . Somehow seeing her shock made me feel powerful ... like I had control over her mood , I could scare her by what she thought was blasphemy . It wasn't ... that's what people don't understand . My relationship with God is my own ... He is my friend, my love , of course I have a right to get angry at Him ... I know He doesn't mind . I know He loves me still just like my best friends do despite all the disagreements and quarrells we may have . And He is even closer than any best friend . If I can love Him so much then obviously anything , any small, little thing that He does that hurts me also makes me twice as angry with Him as it would with any other "person". I feel God is a person . Why do people say He can't feel happiness or sorrow ? That's so unjust to Him . I am sure He would get lonely too without us ... without the people that love Him . He must feel like everyone is taking advantage of Him ... just asking Him for stuff and never giving anything in return . I can't give Him much in terms of prayers and chanting in a language that I don't understand but I do give Him a lot of attention as in speaking to Him of things ... ordnary things like clothes, movies, friends . And anyway I don't believe prayers are only about the set arabic lines we are made to learn since we are small . I believe prayers can be of many different kinds . Being happy is a prayer ... don't know how to explain but as Anne of Green Gables would have said ... all you kindred souls know what I mean ... ;)

Okey now I have been rambling about for I don't know for how long about everything and nothing though this was supposed to be a post about my "dream" ... well well ... but then how wuld I qualify to be a FREAK if I stuck to any plans ... :D

It Hit Me Today

2005-09-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

I am really distressed today . I realized a truth about myself that I had never even thought about before . It has been a disturbing day ... I woke up not feeling too well with my depressive disorder in active mode ... my 2 year old son is proving to be every bit as like me as possible meaning he not only "looks" like me he is also finding out his true "mommy" genes by being "the" most obnoxious kid in the family (and believe me we have quite a collection of those) ... I am wearing my mother's old dress that even she never wears courtesy of my son for he very conveniently puked over my nice new dress, and now I am stinking of sweat and am looking my dowdy-est worst ... my hubbie hasn't shown up after texting me he would come to pick me and son up from my parents (why I am here is another lonnnnggg , sadddd story) ... and so on .

The bit though that I am most perplexed about is the realization that what hubbie said once to me might be true after all ... I am just not a nice person and I will always find something to cry or whine about even when I am at my happiest . There have been times when I have been actually happy and yet I have cried because I have reminded myself of something sad . Why does that happen ? And I think this is what makes people (well okey hubbie) think I am not basically a nice person . I wish it wasn't true because for all my faults I didn't think "not being nice" was one of them . Come to think of it, I remember something I did way back in college which makes me feel very guilty and ashamed of myself now . There was this new girl in college and she was ...errrr ... not quite the usual kinda girl we were used to ... the guys were all ga-ga over her and she loved the attention she was getting . Now since I and my friends had grown up studying in this institute studying with these same boys for ages we found it so disgusting that she should be ... ummm ... kinda flirting with them . But when all is said and done that was her only fault ... that she was new to a co-ed institute and she was basking in the attention of the oppositte sex ... other than that she was a very normal girl and a nice one for that matter . In the beginning I even hit it off very well with her but slowly I pulled back . I feel sooooo bad today just thinking about it all ... it was so petty and so small of me ... how could I judge a person like that and slot her as a not-very-nice person and someone not worth being friends with . I hope she is happy wherever she is and that if I hurt her I am sooo sorry ... if I could turn back time I know I would do things differently ... :(

Men of My Dreams ...

2005-09-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of "some" guys I have been in and out of love with in the past 26 years ... watch and drool ... ;)

Brad Pitt :

I have yet to watch a movie starring him (not counting Interview With A Vampire) but I remember seeing his poster in my friend's room and there has been no looking back . I specially loved him in an episode of "Friends" in which he made a great guest appearance . I like him with the short cropped style, not with long hair ... yech .

Aamir Khan :

Okey not a very good pic but I love his moustache and long hair . The first time I have ever liked any of the two things on a man .

Luke Wilson:

Most of you will find this entry surprising but I fell head over heals for him in Legally Blonde though he had a very blink and you will miss role in the movie . I somehow like the dark, brooding kinds .

Johnny Depp :

Aaahhhh ... how can I forget watching "Finding Neverland" and expecting it to be a long, boring drama which turned out to be a complete smasher what with Kate Winslet (my fav) at her best along with this gorgeous guy .

Bryan Adams :

Okey, I like this guy more for his husky vocals then his looks but whatever it is I DO adore him .

Jon Bon Jovi :

I loved his vocals on "Always" . Like a few other songs by him but not too many yet he has got killer looks .

Tom Cruise :

What can I say for this guy ... which girl in her right mind can help getting mesmerized by that smile ... he is definitely one heck of a "good-looking" guy .

Al Pacino :

Okey, now this one is old enough to be my grandfather, nevermind father, but he is a timeless actor and has got the most soulfull eyes ever .

Antonio Banderas :

How can I forget watching "The Mask of Zorro" and wondering who the guy was . I fell immediately in love with him and couldn't talk about anything but him for ages in college . Wonder how he can stand being married to that, that woman ... :S

Andy Garcia :

He looks like a young Al Pacino, don't you think so ?

The Broken Heart By John Donne

2005-09-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

He is stark mad, whoever says,

That he hath been in love an hour,

Yet not that love so soon decays,

But that it can ten in less space devour ;

Who will believe me, if I swear

That I have had the plague a year?

Who would not laugh at me, if I should say

I saw a flash of powder burn a day?

Ah, what a trifle is a heart,

If once into love's hands it come !

All other griefs allow a part

To other griefs, and ask themselves but some ;

They come to us, but us love draws ;

He swallows us and never chaws ;

By him, as by chain'd shot, whole ranks do die ;

He is the tyrant pike, our hearts the fry.

If 'twere not so, what did become

Of my heart when I first saw thee?

I brought a heart into the room,

But from the room I carried none with me.

If it had gone to thee, I know

Mine would have taught thine heart to show

More pity unto me ; but Love, alas !

At one first blow did shiver it as glass.

Yet nothing can to nothing fall,

Nor any place be empty quite ;

Therefore I think my breast hath all

Those pieces still, though they be not unite ;

And now, as broken glasses show

A hundred lesser faces, so

My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore,

But after one such love, can love no more.

Types Of Shit !

2005-09-08T18:12:00.000-07:00

This is the very first email I sent to my elder sister-in-law after my engagement and NO, we weren't school chums . I had met her only once ... on my engagement ... LOL ... and then there are those of you who ask me why I call this place Freaks Corner ... ;)

1. Ghost shit--the kind where you feel the shit come out but there is no shit in the toilet.

2. Clean shit--the kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toiletpaper.

3. Wet shit--the kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it feels unwiped so you have to putsome toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin your pants with a stain.

4. Second Wave--It happens when you're done shitting and you've pulled your pants up to yourknees and you realize you have to shit some more.

5. Pop-a-vein-in-your-forehead shit--the kind where you strain so much you practically have astroke.

6. Richard Simmons shit--you shit so much you lose 30 pounds.

7. Lincoln Log shit--the kind that is so huge you're afraid to flush without breaking it into littlepieces with the toilet brush.

8. Gassy shit--It's noisy and everyone within earshot is giggling.

9. Corn shit--self explanatory.

10. Gee-I-wish-I-could-shit shit--the kind where you want to shit, but all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramp and fart a few times.

11. Spinal tap shit--that's when it hurts so bad coming out, you'd swear it was leaving yousideways.

12. Wet cheek shit--(the power dump!)the kind that comes out of your butt so fast your cheeks get splashed with water.

13. Liquid shit--the kind where yellowish brown liquid shoots out and splatters all over the toiletbowl.

14. Mexican food shit--it smells so bad the room must be condemned.

15. Upper class shit--the kind that thinks their shit doesn't smell.

16. Fisherman's bobber shit--the kind where you are in a public restroom, there are two people waiting on your stall, you shit and flush two times, but several golf ball size pieces are still floating at the water line.

17. Ambush shit--the kind that never happens at home, but usually at a party or while playing golf.It is the result of trying to fart--just a little, but you end up with trouser chili and you walk bow-legged for the rest of the day.

18. Drunken shit--the kind you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeabletrait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

19. Champagne Shit--you're so constipated that by the time the cork blows, a bubbly liquidstreams from your ass.

20. Kling-On Shit--The kind where, when you go to wipe it, it's there waiting on the edge.

21. Blow Out Shit--The shit that's proceeded by a fart so vicious, you have to check the bowl afterwards to make sure there are no cracks.

22. Exorcist Shit--The kind where yellowish-brownish liquid shoots out of your ass and burns yourass while it splatters all over the toilet. (See Liquid Shit)

23. Peek-A-Boo Shit--It comes halfway out, then it goes back in, comes back out, goes back in,etc.

24. Pregnancy Shit--The kind where you're really backed up and it makes you grunt and wheeze for a long while until it finally splits your crack in a child bearing fashion.(See Pop-a-Vein Shit, SpinalTap Shit)

25. Rabbit Shit--It comes in cute, round portions, but there loads of it about. Actually, you're never really finished, but stop at some point from boredom.

26. Alphabet Shit--It comes leisurely, with one or a few breakaways, and when you look at it you think: "Doesn't that just look like the letter ...?"

27. Feminist Shit--No matter what it looks like or how it comes out, it's a man's fault.

28. Blowtorch Shit--Shit that burns your ass so much, you'd swear that it's flammable. (usually occurs morning after eating WAY too much spicy food)

29. Dual Density Shit--The kind where some shit floats and some shit sinks to the bottom of thebowl.

30. Ribbon Shit--A semiliquid fecal matter that is too thin to be a Lincoln Log Shit but not runnyenough to be a Liquid Shit. Rather, it looks like a 1 inch wide piece of brownish fettuccine, withsome specks of color.

31. The Public Shit--Shit that reminds your senses of the warm, moist stench that embraces youwhen you enter a less than sanitary public restroom.

32. Little Boy Shit--Shit powerful enough to level a small city.

33. Flood Shit--You shit so much that it acts like a huge sandbag and ends up flooding your bowland running out all over the place, leaving you to clean up a brown, pasty mess. (Add a bonus point ifJohn Mellencamp does a relief concert to help cleanup efforts)

34. Dream Shit--When you haven't been to the toilet in 14 days, this is the shit that you'll bedreaming about.

35. Concrete Shit--This is what you'll drop after you haven't been to the toilet in 14 days.

36. Surgery Shit--After the Concrete shit, you'll have to go into surgery because your ass is torn apart so badly.

Weird Men

2005-09-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday while reading the entertainment section of the newspaper, my 29 years old brother's face lit up and he got a huge grin on his face stretching from ear to ear . My brother is quite a difficult person to catch "smiling" let alone grining so of course I was surprised . Before I could ask any questions he looked at me and said, "Both Jennnifer Anniston and Karisma Kapoor have gotten divorced . What a wonderful belated birthday present." Soooooooo SICK !

P.S. My brother's birthday falls on 2nd September .
P.P.S. The above mentioned actresses are his idea of perfect beauty .

Facts And Myths About Islam

2005-09-06T13:02:00.000-07:00

I am planning to make this a regular feature of my blog ... i.e. busting some myths and stating some facts about Islam . I am greatly indebted to islamonline.net for their kind support in gathering the required information . Here are a few myths and facts I am posting here taken straight from the site withslight modifications . Hope it turns out to be as useful as it has for me .

Myth or Fact No. 1 : Women are prohibited from cutting their hair :

This one is a myth . According to islam there is nothing wrong in women having their hair shortened as long as it is done for the sake of beautifying themselves and nothing more. This is quite different from shaving head, which is completely forbidden for women except in such cases where it is inevitable, e.g. for medical reasons such as undergoing an operation . If a woman has her hair cropped with the intention of looking masculine or non-Muslims, then it is forbidden, because the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is reported to have said: "May Allah's Curse be inflicted upon women who imitate men and vice versa." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Myth or Fact No. 2 : Women may not shave their hair :
Islam generally encourages Muslims to appear neat, tidy and well groomed; this applies equally to males and females.
Greater emphasis in this matter, however, has been placed on married couples more than others; the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) set the perfect role model for all married couples when he said, "I prepare myself for my spouse, and she prepares herself for me!"
Islamic sources lay great stress specially in recommending wives to appear attractive before their spouses. The only limitation applicable here is resorting to practices that may amount to direct altering and tampering with Allah’s creation, for such practices are considered as clearly forbidden in Islam. Such forbidden practices include face-lift, breast enlargement, changing the natural color of the hair, bleaching, (plucking the eyebrows), etc.
All other forms of beautification, however, are considered permissible for females, especially married women. Such is the case with shaving their arms and legs, facial hair, and underarms, et cetera. Since there is nothing in the sources to prohibit such practices, they are considered permissible. In fact, shaving the armpits and pubic hair is considered highly recommended, while shaving other parts is permissible. When asked about such beautification by a married woman, `A’ishah, the Mother of the Faithful, replied, "Do whatever you can to appear attractive to your spouse!"

Myth or Fact No. 3 : Wearing nail polish is haram :
Nail polish as a product, it is not haram (prohibited). However, there are two issues one should know about nail polish.
1. A woman can pray with nail polish; but when she takes her ablution, she should have it off, otherwise, both her ablution and her Prayers will not be valid. Then, if she removes the nail polish, takes her ablution, and then puts the nail polish back, then she can pray with it.
2. Nail polish is an ornament. Therefore, like all other ornaments, it cannot be worn in public in the presence of the opposite sex (men). A woman can only have it in front of her husband, children, and all other women or men who are her mahrams (those she can never marry, like her father, uncle, etc.). If a woman really wants to put nail polish and go out, then she should cover her hands with gloves."

Myth or Fact No. 4 : Without hijab prayers and fasts are not accepted :
Hijab is an obligation and every Muslimah is required to wear it. All Muslim jurists agree on this and Allah has made it clear in Surat An-Nur: "And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms." (An-Nur: 31) As far as the issue of not wearing hijab while observing fasting and prayer is concerned, Sheikh `Atiyyah Saqr, former head of Al-Azhar Fatwa Committee, states: "If an act of worship is done, it is hoped that Allah will accept it as long as it is done for His sake. However, we should not be sure regarding its acceptance, as this matter is referred to Allah Almighty, Who says in His Glorious Qur’an: "… Allah accepteth only from those who ward off (evil)." (Al-Ma’idah: 27) As for the believers who do some kinds of sins, Allah will not deprive them of the reward of their good deeds. He (Glorified and Exalted be He) says: "And whoso doeth good an atom's weight will see it then. And whoso doeth ill an atom's weight will see it then." (Az-Zalzalah: 7-8) As far as the woman who does not wear hijab and offers prayer and fasting in Ramdan is concerned, her acts of worship are hoped to be accepted. However, she will be punished for not wearing hijab, as it is a sin.

The eminent Muslim scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi states: "If a Muslim woman does perform prayer and observe fasting, but still does not wear the hijab, this does not mean that one tells her to stop praying or fasting till she wears her hijab. Instead one should encourage her to adhere to her religious practices and advice her not to delay wearing hijab, in shaa’ Allah. Therefore, one can conclude that her Salah (prayer) is valid as long as she wears the hijab in the Salah and performs it in the proper manner. Also, her fasting is valid as long as she stops eating, drinking and sexual intercourse from dawn till sunset." At this point, Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi relates an indicative story. He said that once he was delivering a speech before thousands of female students in Constantinah, Algeria. The majority of the attendants were without hijab. A female student asked him: What do you think of female students who attend Islamic lectures without wearing the hijab? The answer was expected to be harsh. However, Sheikh Yusuf replied that we should not only welcome her but also encourage her to attend. Any woman’s motive to attend such lectures is a clear sign of inward faith that needs to be stimulated in order to come to the surface.

How The Days' Gonne Be For Moi ... :D

2005-09-05T12:56:00.000-07:00

Here are a few predictions about how the day is gonna turn out for me . AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... it was fun looking these up . :D

Aries, The Ram

There are many opportunities to make personal improvements in your life. An opportunity to travel to help someone will enable you to meet others with the drive and Good Samaritan attitude you share.
Astrology.com

Work seems to be your topic now - it's often on your mind somehow. Your self-esteem may now depend on working to the bitter end. You might now act a little rash to gain (or lose) some easy cash. To whine about some "sacrifice" is just a "guilt and blame" device. Soon you could have a "crisis of faith" which somehow transforms your philosophy of life. You might attract someone who thinks "two's company, three's a crowd". At this time, the one you date could turn into a future mate.
Astrologyzine.com

Instead of splurging on yourself, use your fun money to brighten someone else's day.Try putting someone else's point of view ahead of your own and see what wisdom you can glean. The insight you gain from your efforts will be worth any little ripples it might throw into your schedule, and save you tons of hassle in the long run.
Astrology.yahoo.com

Whatever you do, avoid making any important decisions today. You will have your head far too high in the clouds to be able to think clearly enough to cope with any complex thought processes. While you remain in this vague and dreamy state, love and happiness will be the most important things to you and you will feel the need to ensure all around you are both well and content. Try not to put a lover on too high a pedestal, you both will be happier in the long run if you can try to remain a little realistic.
Aahoroscopes.com

2005-09-05T00:32:00.000-07:00

I have had a lousy beginning to what I thought might be just another ordinary day ... wishful thinking . I have been on the stupid machine (PC) for the past hour and a half trying to figure out what my Username was . AAarrrrgghhhh ... and for those of you grinning ... NO I AM NOT DUMB ... quite on the contrary ... I am famously clever . :p I started up on this blog afresh, as you would have known if you had read my previous posts, ... 8o ... and conveniently forgot my username . It's such a headache having so many different "names" that blogspot asks for .

Okey, enough whining ... I have mustard oil in my hair and believe me it stinks . Yep, that's exactly why I am here at this ungodly hour typing a post that I know noone besides myself will ever get to read ... hehehe ... but I am my own best fan and pal and critic ... errr ... on second thought not a very good critic of myself ... :$ Uh ... forgot to mention what mustard oil has to do with me being awake ... the smell is so bad I can't go to sleep ... ummm but I did mention that didn't I ? Whatever ... !

Bye for now darling ... will catch ya later ... better go check on my son ... I HATE missing out on seeing him grin in his sleep ... ahhh guys don't know how much they miss out on this motherhood thing ... :D

Why Have We Become So Passive ?

2005-09-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

Why Have We Become So Passive ?
Yet another Independance Day goes by and I watch the tube with hope that something positive would be done and shown for the younger generation . I am really frustrated with the way our media has turned such a blind-eye to the deterioration in the moral values of the youth . They are rather focussed on getting more viwership by competing with the Western and Indian channels by showing a culture that just does not exist in Pakistan . True there are such circles in which the behaviour they show on music channels, fashion magazines etc does seem to exist but teh number of such people is so very limited . The youth are getting the wrong impression that it is the accepted code of behaviour to party till late with those of the oppositte sex, to booze, to wear clothes that bypass any code of decency according to our culture and religion . We see society magazines, fashion glossies full of pictures of social events in Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad showing men and women holding and hugging each other . The message most teens are getting is that this is the way to behave, this is the way to be a part of the in crowd and be considered cool. I am not a burqa wearing man-slave . I am an educated, modern woman who knows exactly what she wants from life and what she aspires to be but within a certain moral limit . Why do we have to take everything to the extremes; if we are conservative we imprison our women in the house and beat them up regularly to take every spark of life out of them; if we are enlightened and modern we accept our sisters and daughters to go out wearing clothes that reveal more than they hide and mingle with the oppositte sex in a way totally contradictory to the teachings of our religion .I look at the T.V. and wonder why a certain brand of pan masala is coming up with remixes of mujra songs ? What culture are we trying to depict here ? Take examples of some other music videos as well, for example, Noori's "Manwa Re" and Ali Azmat's "Na Re Na". Though great songs, yet the videos for them again show that fascination for the age-old Nawab and his Mujra culture. Music channels are running programmes on the making of the latter and the fact, that it was shot in Heera Mandi, keeps getting higlighted . Why are we so fascinated with the Heera Mandi ? Personally I feel it's something to be ashamed of . We call ourseles Muslims and then we have a flesh market right next to one of our grandest and most historic mosques . The mujra culture is not something to be romanticized but to be deplored . Any tourist visiting Lahore is interested in mainly visiting two places ; Gawal Mandi and Heera Mandi . I see eunuchs standing at the wee hours of the night outside famous restaurants and hotels waiting for customers . They act as panders and target mostly young boys or middle aged men . Everyone knows about it but they choose to turn a blind eye . What one gets to see in the evenings in Model Town Park is another thing that would disgust any God-fearing person; boys and girls openly flirting with one another, lying in each other's laps ... but that's a story to be touched another time . I am not targeting only Lahore . Just that I have lived in Lahore and know more about what goes on there then any other place and it's lamentable how our media instead of trying to correct this menace further publicizes it as if it was a most prized possession that Lahore could boast of .On the night of 12th August I came across a talk show for the youth on one of the Dubai based music channels . The youngsters, both male and female, were divided into two groups and the topic under discussion was Dance Parties vs. Mehndis . Some of the arguments the kids gave were totally shocking and disgusting . The group supporting Mehndis, for example, argued that more rapes happenned after Dance Parties because the girls and boys got physically intimate with one another . The Dance Party Group answered by citing the example of Mukhtaran Mai and how she was raped in a place where there were only mehndis and no dance parties . They went on to call each other rapists based on their looks . I was astonished and left dumbfound . Don't these young people know what a grave crime rape is and that it must not be spoken of in jest ? I really for the first time in my life felt a nostalgia for the Zia regime in a corny way . Better have Islam imposed on us then have our youth so confused and immoralized due to the invasion of western media and culture . I grew up in the same country, went to the best schools, lived in the most up-beat places but never did I ever hear any teenagers taking about such things or even dreaming about such stuff . Is this the moderate Islam that our leaders keep harping about ? I believe we were better off with leaders who made covering of the head a must for women on T.V. , however irritating that might have been, then have leaders who are of the opinion that these young yet untrained and inexperienced minds should be exposed to such temptations as dance parties and boozing .I privately contacted a few honours of different ISPs and found out that most internet users, who are between the age of 12-25 use the net for watching pornography . I am not a techy person so I can only say that they showed me a big screen on which the IP addresses of the users were shown along with the content they were viewing and it came as no big surprise that most of it was pornographic material . The internet should be used as a medium of information and healthy entertainment . I even believe, chatting can be useful and informative and there is nothing wrong with it, unlike most people . But I don't understand why anyone would spend hours looking up sick stuff when they literally have the world just a click away from them . I don't deny not being curious and visiting some such sites when the net was first introduced to me but it never culminated into a passionate and compulsive pass time . There was so much more that I discovered on the WWW . I made great friends , I found facts about the so many myths surrounding Islamic rulings on things like purdha , working women , the depression surrounding muslim youth specially thiose living in the West and so much more .Then there were the sites about modern day heroes that have gone on to make a mark of their own in the world without losing their individuality as Muslims .I am only citing examples of how the internet opened up my mind about so many misconceptions regarding my religion yet isn't this the root of all evils surrounding us today ; our limited knowledge of our religion thanks to the twisted facts the ignorant mullah has sown in our minds . Again coming back to the main topic , it's a responsibility, and the greatest one for that matter, of the media both electronic and otherwise to lay the fears of our youth at rest regarding the principles of Islam and not to mislead them by exposing them to ideas and values that are just not a part of our social or religious system .(hey Zaksie, see I found a place that would take my articles no matter what ... hehehe)

Make Way For I Am Back :D

2005-09-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

Okey guys I am back . I deleted my last blog :( for some strange reason I have yet to fully understand but now I am back again and there is no stopping me . Okey I will share with you one of the reasons I am back ... my head is full of thoughts that I am dying to spill out and noone around to sit and listen to me . There are plenty of chances hardly anyone's gonna stumble upon this but "who cares" . Atleast I am unburdening my heart . Ciao for now ... will be posting some smashers soon ... keep your fingers crossed .